So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
