I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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