Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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