is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
