Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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