BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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