Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
