mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
