There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
