we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
