You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
