dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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