He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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