but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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