If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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