we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i love accidental penises.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize