yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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