If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
