I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
