Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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