Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
