I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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