No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
