Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well you can't waste a boner
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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