sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i may or may not be watching the land before time
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
