He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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