I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
