got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize