Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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