Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
