he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
