at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
