4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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