no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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