went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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