and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
