I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
