I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize