38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
