i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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