Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
