yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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