I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
