Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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