Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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