she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
