lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
should my penis look like a turkey
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
