Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
