maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
