I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
