i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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