Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
