And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
