I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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