My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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