Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
