I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
