What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Non-Jews are for practice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
