Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bring me that man meat
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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