Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
