you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
