Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
