Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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