This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
