Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
